This is by no means new news, but I think it deserves social commentary, that special kind of social commentary that you keep to yourself until everything has played out, so that you have even more material to huff and puff about. The kind of social commentary you rip out like a trump card, to prove a point about how the world is going to pieces.

So here is what the fuss is about: King Mswati III treated himself to a very lavish birthday party. Very lavish indeed, with a US$2,5m price tag minus the extras. He probably thought he deserved it too, a pat on the back for leading one of the poorest countries in Africa (take a moment to think about what that means, I mean I didn’t say one of the poorest countries in Europe did I?), with one of the highest HIV infection rates in the world (drink it in).

Good old CNN has a picture of this smug-looking autocrat (indeed, Swaziland is one of the last absolute monarchies in the world, if you don’t count Zimbabwe), dressed in what they describe as ‘traditional leopard skins’ and what I describe as a grossly inappropriate Halloween costume.

All the people-loving hippies united in disgust at this. And so they should, I love to see the eco-friendly smiles wiped off their faces anyway. They developed a little slogan, King Mswati’s 40th on the 40th year of Swazi independence, where 40% of the country is infected with HIV and most of them won’t live to see 40.

I would love to know where they get those stats from, it’s all a little convenient. Either way I am going to run with it and say: The world is going to pieces.

At the little shin-dig the crowd particularly loved the appearance of Robert Mugabe (Oh hello Darkness my old friend!), who seemed to be the Snoop Dogg of injustice around those parts. They consider him a man (first mistake) who stands up against the west.
Oh Good Ol’ Rob, I imagine him dreaming up book covers with titles like How we conquered the west or an autobiographical piece entitled Dolfie and Me: What I have in common with the Füher. Anyway it’s only fitting that Rob be given a hero’s welcome at the Royal Swazi ho down. He is ridiculous enough to fit right in.

A Royal Swazi mess indeed, not only did they burn their much-needed cash on throwing a leopard-skin bonanza, but they also give one of the least popular idiots in the world a royal welcome. Why? Well, I hate disappoint but am going to have to tick the box marked ‘stupid’ on this one.