Television. So I have one now. Well, technically, it’s not mine. It’s my housemate’s. I don’t own such crap. Why? Because there’s a load of shit on. I caught the first five minutes of ‘True Blood’ the other night. It started with an emo wanker and his bleedy-eyed girlfriend riding around with their chommie in a 1979 Datsun Dipshit. Then they argued with each other till chommie leaps out the car in a teary-eyed rage and gets mauled by a Minotaur. That’s when I knew it was bed time.

Next we have Greys Anatomy. That’s also quite a special show. There’s some ginger haired freak that scares my inner child on that show. His main job is to walk around having mini-tantrums in peoples faces. He has no idea what personal space is and judging by the wrinkled noses of his co-stars, he has no idea what personal hygiene is either. The storyline was stupid. It involved some girl with no heart (waiting for her heart transplant) and some other guy that she didn’t really know loving her so much that he proposes to her. I’m assuming that he took out life insurance on her heartless ass right before the proposal (that’s the only way the plot would make any sense at all).

Finally we have my personal favourite form of hell : The Bold and the Beautiful. Why I sat through an entire episode God alone knows (and He probably won’t talk about it because it still sickens Him), but I did. So, the story went like this : some really old guy is marrying some really young girl on a beach. He tells her she’s so amazing and that her farts are vanilla scented and her inexplicable bad moods and PMS make him realise that he is indeed a wad of gayness that should die by anal rape in a Chinese prison. At this point I was distracted by his tiny piggy eyes. They were filled with Satanic lies. They proceeded to consumate their devil marriage on a bed on the beach. If I were jogging along a beach and I saw two spawns of evil boning each other on a makeshift bed, I would be quite upset. I would write a letter to the council and hopefully they’d have the bed removed.

Anyway, TV is shit.

Thanks.

Bye.