I’m not a purveyor of porn, I do not actively seek it out simply because the kind of porn I like does not exist. I decided to mail the webmaster of a porn aggregation site to enquire as to whether he would take it upon himself to rectify this horrendous situation :

Dear Sir
I must say, I am a terribly huge fan of your site. Your selection caters for almost all tastes and the quality is impeccable. “Almost all tastes?” you may be asking. Yes, almost. You see, there is a very specific kind of content that I enjoy the most of all : the porn of the bat. Bat porn. You might be thinking, “Bat porn? That’s just ridiculous.” Indeed sir. I will try not to be deeply offended by your judgement of my tastes. Rather I will try to explain the sheer exotic pleasure of watching two bats locked in throes of ecstasy. Their giant wings dripping with gleaming bat-love. Yes, bat-love (or ’sweat’ to the lay person). Please, I implore you, add bat porn to your site. I need it. I need it like a bat needs it’s giant bat ears to echo-locate it’s lovers wibbly parts. Please. Do it.
Deep regards
Bat-porn lover

Haven’t heard back yet.

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